After lots of playing in the snow with my far-flung friends home for Christmas, photo stories about my cats, missing of New York and reading of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, something truly great happened; I got an email from the director of the CUNY Writers Institute to say he loved my work and was awarding me this years Fiction scholarship. I actually nearly fell of the chair with shock and couldn't sleep for 2 nights afterwards. Then they made the announcement on their website and it suddenly became real.
Other than being very very happy to go back to New York, it was incredible to have someone who is under no obligation towards you whatsoever say great things about your work. I had been having kind of a insecure moment about my abilities and what it actually means to be a writer but once I stopped dithering and sat down at my computer I felt a lot better and now with the scholarship I'm starting to believe that this might be something I can actually do.
Other than getting great news and not sleeping (I have some kind of weird morning insomnia where I wake up ridiculously early and get an adrenaline shot accompanied by twelve million insistent thoughts) I've been going to the cinema a lot which keeps me feeling sane (unexplainable) and brain-fed. I also went on a Dogme 95 binge and watched The Idiots and The Celebration, which left me feeling utterly disturbed in a good way. Dogme films have a way of grabbing you by the throat and making you feel incredibly uncomfortable, which is in turn strangely enjoyable in a film. I went to see Howl 2 days after I watched The Celebration and although it was good and I enjoyed it, it felt so polished and strange in comparison.
There was an election, which I chose not to involve myself in too much other than feeling grumpy with Enda Kenny for staring at me whilst I ate breakfast every day.
I've been trying to spend as much time outside the city as possible, and climbed Killiney Hill on a grey day to sit in the middle of a cloud.
Other than reading 9 Sookie Stackhouse novels in the space of a month (who can resist a vampire viking warlord with a sense of humour?), I picked up this book will save your life by A.M. Homes at the last flea market and think its great. She is very funny in a dark, satirical way and manages to create incredibly human characters. This book will save your life is about a forty something bussiness man in LA who has isolated himself from everyone except his housekeeper, personal trainer, nutritionist and Rothko and De Kooning paintings. And I swear I don't just like it because it features a horse at some stage.
And right now the sun is shining, the junkies are drinking cans by the canal and the trendy kids are sweating in their pleather as they walk-of-shame towards Rathmines. All is as it should be.
I will leave you with todays note of wisdom:
Is there anything that can't be made better by the playing of Rihanna's S&M?
